I Don't Need A Vagina Necklace To Normalize The Female Body, Thank You Very Much

The sold-out Etsy jewellery featuring glittery female lady bits has been in the news this week—but does it really represent female empowerment?

Etsy is pretty awesome. A few years ago I bought my sister in law a really special bronze bracelet. My mother scored some beautiful family trees for my kids. You can find just about anything you could possibly want from the online retailer that sells handcrafted everything.

And now, if you’re bored of the same old jewellery you find in shops at the mall, check out Etsy for your one of a kind vagina necklace.

You read that right.

If you haven’t already started doing it, you can now accessorize your outfit with a sparkly vagina. Although it may not be quite as unique as you think it is. Turns out these bad boys (girls?) are selling like hotcakes!

Moonflower creations is the brainchild of Emily Fitzgerald who encourages you to show your love for your vagina by wearing one around your neck. Fitzgerald told Scary Mommy that people are snatching them up as quickly as she can make them and that she has received high praise from her customers.

“[I get] A lot of messages from women thanking me for helping normalize the female body. Also, of course, a lot of light hearted jokes which is ok they give me a giggle also,” she said. She admits that some people are kinda horrified too. I couldn’t imagine why...

How is wearing a vagina around the neck normalizing the female body? Is it normal for men to wear penis jewellery? I don’t get it. It’s not like men walk around with tight pants (at least, we hope they don't) so that we can see and be enamoured with their 'parts'. So how exactly is wearing a vagina around our necks meant to make us feel all 'I am woman, hear me roar'?

It’s not as if vaginas are pretty and we feel forced to contain their beauty. This isn't a rebellion where we have been pushed to the brink and are finally saying, ‘No more hiding her!’

It’s just so weird! I don’t get it. I don’t understand why anyone thinks they’re worth paying money for and actually wearing, let alone wearing with pride, whilst proclaiming, 'Vagina power!'

Is it a ‘pro-woman’ statement? I mean, that is the logic behind why people are buying them, isn’t it? "You can’t make more of a pro-woman statement than hanging a big ol’ vagina around your neck” the writer for Scary Mommy claims.

Really, though? I can think of a bunch of better ways to make a pro-woman statement than by wearing vagina jewellery. Be on a committee or part of an advocacy group. Or, just wear a shirt that says “Proud To Be A Woman!” if you don’t have the time or energy to do something a bit more active to make a statement.

Scary Mommy said, even though they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, they are beautiful pieces of art. Personally, I don’t see it. They’re basically mushed-together pieces of FIMO.

But beauty (and indeed female empowerment) is in the eye of the beholder, I guess. 

(Images via Instagram)

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