I Managed To Date As A Young, Single Mom

Dating as a single mom can be difficult, until you follow this fool-proof tip

Dating as a young parent is similar to riding on a merry go-round that puts me in the same crazy spot over and over again. Until I learnt my lesson and got the hell off that ride.

After I became a single mom, I waited to date for a very long time. I knew that finding a partner would be no easy task considering that young single women without children struggle to find someone special. It was difficult to get to that point throughout the ups and downs of the dating world as a single parent.

I was in university for a great deal of my post-daughter dating years and it was not pleasant. I was either pegged as un-dateable due to my extenuating life circumstances or I became a pick-up sport. I considered the M.I.L.F. and that held a kind of fascination for many young university gents. I also did not have the time flexibility to go on dates which limited my options further.

These years were often lonely. I did not overly desire a partner because all I could see around me were children dating children and I knew I wasn’t a part of the pack. My life consisted of playing with baby toys and reading board books, making lunches and strolling in the park. I couldn’t see how any young man would want to take part in these daily activities with me.

I stopped believing in love for a very long time. I gave up on men entirely and saw them as friends, temporary distractions or nothing at all. Then after I grew bored of those games, I experienced a moment of enlightenment. I decided to learn to love myself. I stopped believing that I needed a partner to complete my family and began to pursue my own interests. I worked long and hard to learn how to love myself and learned to be okay with flying solo. I still had lonely days but they were further and further apart.

Crazily enough, it was when I took that step and started to love myself that I did meet the right guy. I was fully in my zen of self-fulfillment when BAM! A great man came strolling into my life. He surprises me every day with a love and consistency that I never thought anyone would want to give. He has renewed my belief that people can be accepting of circumstances outside of the norm and has ultimately replenished my faith in love. I know, total cheese alert.

Fellow single parents, I know you are rolling your eyes at my seemingly happy ending right now. Don’t go there, I’m not that kind of gal. Finding someone great is a miracle but it really begins and ends with you. Self-love is essential to your relationships; without it a relationship really can’t survive. In order for me to be okay I had to truthfully ask myself, was I really okay with being a single mom? Did I feel accepted as a person in my community? Was I taking the steps to look in the mirror each day and honor the fact that I was able to raise a human on my own when some people considered it impossible in any form?

Once I addressed these issues and took steps to improve my own state of self through means of meditation, mindfulness practices and writing daily, I began to understand what had been stunting my own growth. From one single parent to another, go to that place by whatever means necessary. Face these deep dark thoughts because you never know who is just around the corner ready to love you for exactly who you are, parent and all. 

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