Daycare Dilemmas And The Trouble With Talking In Absolutes

Whether you choose home daycare or a daycare centre for your kids, we need to stop the judgment

There are few parenting topics that garner more debate—who am I kidding? All parenting topics spark debate—than which is better, daycare centres or home daycares.

Now, I know I know….a mom shouldn’t have a baby unless she intends to stay home with it full time. Dads can. But moms? Nope. If you want a baby, don’t give up the precious early days and let someone else raise your child (hint, hint, sarcasm).

We moms who made the tough decision (or happily chose to) work full time, have all faced the struggle of finding the right daycare for their child. We already know some people judge us for working at all. The last thing we want to do is make the wrong choice about who we will entrust to watch our kids.

There are two teams; Team Home Daycare and Team Daycare Centre. Rarely are people fence sitters on this topic.

Team Daycare Centre Opinion:

"Home daycares are the wrong choice. It’s less safe. There is no one there to make sure they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing. They ignore kids at the playground. They plop them in front of the television and let the kids watch Dora and then they feed them KD and cookies. The kids basically do nothing but play all day. There is zero structure.

You also have no idea who comes and goes all day. There is basically no security. They are just totally unsafe. Look at the tragic story little girl who died in the home care two years ago. The provider was just convicted of criminal negligence causing death. If that isn’t proof that home daycares aren’t safe, I don’t’ know what is!

Centres are so much safer. There are more teachers around. More eyes watching the kids. You know who's coming and who's going because the front door is locked. People have to be buzzed in. The providers are really wonderful. They make a pretty meagre salary but they do the job because they love it. The kids are loved and well cared for. The kids have tons of friends, so tons of interaction. Yeah, they get sick a lot at the beginning but it’s building up their strong immunity. There is no option that can provide the kind of comfort I need more than a daycare and I don’t get how anyone could feel safe and confident with home daycare. But that’s just me."

Team Home Daycare Opinion:

"I would never want my child in a commercial setting. It’s basically a child mill and the kids are dirty and the teachers don’t bond with the kids because there’s just too many of them! And the kids get sick ALL THE TIME. Everyone I know who sends their kid to a centre has had a child with a runny nose since the day they started. It never ends! 

Plus, kids want to be home with their moms and if they can’t be, the environment in a centre is just so industrial. Kids have plenty of time to be in such a structured setting. It’s too much to expect these kids live by the schedule the daycare thinks my child should have.

And they’re really unsafe. That man who worked at the daycare was caught sexually assaulting kids in the daycare he worked in, and took pictures of it! What more proof do you need?

No thanks, I’ll stick to my loving, caring, home setting for my child. I love that when I can’t be at home with my baby, he has a loving person who takes care of him. She loves him more than a daycare provider ever could. Our home care provider works with what my child needs when he needs it. She treats him like her own. I love that she knows his likes and dislikes to a tee."

Team Truth Opinion?

Most daycare and home daycares are wonderful, loving, caring environments, where the people who are in charge of being our children’s care provider do it, not for the money (which is minimal!), but for the love of our kids. Do bad stories happen? Yes. Does it prove one or the other is better while the other unsafe? No.

We pick what fits most with our personalities, our children’s personalities, and our comfort zones. We pick based on convenience, lifestyle, and all sorts of other preferences that combine to make it the right choice for us. You may think centres are cold. I found them quite warm and loving. And I might have thought home daycares were less safe and reliable, but I know of many friends who used them (in fact, most of them did!) All of their children were loved and well taken care of.

So, let’s stop with all the ‘I went with X because of all of these bad things about Y.’ It serves zero purpose other than telling another mom they made a poor choice. And the last thing moms need is one more thing to be judged on. They didn’t make the wrong decision, they simply made one different than yours. We all make the right choice, for us.

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