How I Missed Out (Twice) On My Baby's 1st Haircut

Rebecca Eckler recounts the sad tale of how she missed out on the first haircut milestone, not once but twice


I was VERY UPSET when I came home the other day and saw my son, Holt. Rather, I was very upset to see his hair. In fact, I almost screamed!

My wonderful nanny had cut his hair. Now, I don’t blame my wonderful nanny, because she only started working with us a few months ago.

But, before that, quite literally, every other day, I would remind everyone in my house, including in-laws, that, “NO ONE IS TO TOUCH HOLT’S HAIR!”

The one person I forgot to tell, however, was my new nanny. I was shocked and appalled. Shocked that this was the SECOND TIME a nanny has cut my child’s hair, without asking. And appalled because this is the second time my baby’s first hair cut was, well… appalling.

When Rowan was a baby, I also came home, to see that she had gotten a homemade haircut. Then I DID scream, because even though Rowan’s nanny was possibly the Best Nanny On The Planet, she also proved to be the WORST hair stylist in the world. (Even she admits that!) Rowan’s “bangs” were halfway up her scalp, choppy and uneven!

So, when I had another baby, I thought, “This time, I get to dictate when and how my baby’s hair will be cut!” Oh, how wrong I was. I don’t blame our nanny, and I know it is just hair and that hair grows back. But one important milestone to one parent may not be as important to another.

Baby’s First Hair Cut, to me, on a scale of one to ten on importance is a TEN. It’s a parenting milestone that I really, REALLY wanted to be there for.

Now, I don’t usually air dirty laundry, but I felt Holt’s Dad, my partner, should have been as upset as I was. “I wanted SURFER hair and now Holt has a 1970’s BOWL CUT. THIS IS NOT HOW I SAW THINGS PLAYING OUT!!!” I cried to him.

Holt’s Dad was like, “It’s just hair. It will grow back. On a scale of one to ten, how important is it really?”

“Well,” I answered back, “IT’S AN 11!” He still didn’t get it.

For days, I silently fumed at my fiancé. Why wasn’t he upset as I was? Is a Baby’s First Hair cut more important to mothers?

Mostly I was pissed at my shitty luck. I mean, HOW could THIS happen to me twice? It’s 100 percent safe to say, I will never have another baby. Which means, I will never get the chance to be there for my baby’s first haircut.

Of course, the nannies both had my baby’s best interest at heart. Was hair falling in their eyes? Yes. So I can see why they would decide to cut my babies' hair.

Still, I kind of feel like someone else cutting your child’s hair, without asking first, is the equivalent of someone buying your child a pet for their birthday, without asking if you would like a pet.

For two years, I had been waiting, and waiting and waiting for Holt’s hair to grow. I had PLANS for his hair. I had DREAMS for his hair. My plans and dreams were quashed both times, when it came to being there, and dictating how my baby’s hair should look and when it should be cut.

My fiancé gets pissed every time I mention, “He looks ugly! Well, his HAIR looks ugly.”

Objectively, Holt’s hair DOES look ugly, an uneven bowl cut again!

But what’s done is done and you can’t undo a haircut, especially a first time haircut. I should have posted a huge sign in my house saying, “NO ONE TOUCHES HOLT’S HAIR UNLESS IT IS MOMMY!”

For all of you who DO care about Baby’s First Hair Cut , I suggest you do this. And hide all the scissors in the house. Out of a scale of one to ten, how important is it that YOU be there for Baby’s First Hair Cut?

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