NYC Potty Training Gets Your Kids Potty Ready For $1700

Potty training your kids can be a struggle, but is it worth a $1700 price tag to get someone else to do it for you?


 

There are many milestones in a parent’s life that take a long while waiting in anticipation. For example, waiting for the time your baby takes their first step. Or the first time your baby sleeps throughout the night. Or their first birthday when it’s obligatory for your tot to smash their face in the cake. All these are wonderful and joyous occasions.

But potty training is a whole other “milestone” that can take a while. And while it’s certainly a milestone, it’s not one that’s a particularly happy one to go through.

But in New York, hiring a potty trainer is the latest in outsourcing a parenting milestone.

Called NYC Potty Training, it launched last month. Founder Samantha Allen told ABC News that her phone has been “ringing off the hook.” I can see why. Potty training can be brutal. (I know, I know, it was a breeze potty training your baby!)

Personally, I felt like a clown, clapping and exclaiming, “Yay!” as if I had won the lottery, every time Rowan, when she was being potty trained, went on the toilet.

I felt even sillier saying, “And here’s a cookie for going potty!” as if she was a dog, who performed a trick.

But she needed to be potty trained to get into pre-pre school, at age 3. We managed to get her potty trained exactly one month earlier.

Now that I’m 41, I can’t imagine getting up for cheering on my son as he learns to use an actual toilet (although I will be happy to stop changing diapers.)  But having someone else potty train my kid? Hello? I’d give up French fries for a year for that exchange. I have outsourced other experiences for my children, that others would consider missing out on a “bonding” experience. I outsourced bike-riding lessons for Rowan, as an example. I have a nanny.

So, duh, in a heartbeat I would outsource potty training. Aside, of course, from the LITTLE fact that this company charges $1750, promising to potty train your child in two days! And you don’t even have to be around!

It’s not that I’m lazy and uninvolved, as many parents would judge. It’s just that I know my son will never remember who potty trained him and, quite frankly, sitting in a washroom for 12 hours is painfully boring and the most uncomfortable room in the house.

Still, $1700 is an extremely steep price to pay, especially when there are dozens of books out there on potty training you can purchase for less than $30.

Then again, if you’re like me, a mature parent of a baby, who has a career, bonus children, a dog, and an obsession with reality television, who the heck has the time to read a book, let alone a book about potty training?

Although I’m no expert in potty training (I’ve only trained one so far), I can pretty much guarantee that your child will be potty trained, whether it takes three days or three months. Who of us know any 16 year olds who aren’t potty trained?

I file “potty training” as a responsibility, like paying the bills. I’m not judging, but I just can’t wrap my head around spending a bill of $1700 to potty train my son. Especially since I’ve been eyeing a new pair of Jimmy Choos.

I think, in this instance, I’ll “outsource” the potty training to Daddy. Would you pay to have your child potty trained? I can’t promise you I can potty train your child in two days, but if you want to shell out $1700 for me to try, just give me a call.

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