Rebecca Eckler: I’m a Firm Believer in Ferberizing Your Baby

Rebecca says at a certain stage, you just let your baby scream at night, until they sleep through the night


 

I’m a firm believer in Ferberizing your baby. This is when, at a certain stage, you just let your baby scream at night, until they sleep through the night.

I’m a firm believer in it because it worked for my daughter, who at three months, I started “ferberizing” and for three awful, completely cringe-worthy nights she screamed for hours. But – but! – after the third night, she was sleeping 12 hours straight.

It was worth those three brutal nights. Because I now have a four month baby with a different man, who doesn’t really believe in ferberizing, although he had no real basis for not believing except to say that “babies cry for a reason,” we had a few, shall we say, “discussions” about it.

I wanted to ferberize my son at three months. He’s now four-and-a-half months and I finally put my foot down and said, “No one is going into his room. He will stop crying and fall asleep eventually!” The problem was, my fiancé talked to his mother for advice and even though she is one of the most wonderful women I know, she too believes that babies cry for a reason and that as soon as a baby cries, you should jump and go to them.

She told my fiancé that nothing can be done before six months. Of course I responded, “Times have changed! You are 41 years old! The last time she raised a baby was FOUR DECADES AGO!” I also, of course, mentioned (ahem) that I AM THE MOTHER and that I know what’s best for our son.

When two people disagree on how to raise a baby (or child) it can be difficult to say the least. So you have to stand strong on your convictions, and my conviction was that we should let our son cry for a couple of nights, because the pay off is so, so worth it. Frankly, when I get something in my mind, I stick to it. So, finally, he agreed not to go into the baby’s room after his last feed at 10 o’clock at night. Yes, he cried. But only for 20 minutes and then he fell asleep for the next six hours.

There is nothing more gratifying then being right! The following night, again, I said strongly that NO ONE IS GOING TO GET HIM. He had his last feed, and slept through the entire night until 6 a.m. Again, I rule! (As I told my fiancé!) Did he cry a few times throughout the night? Yes. But did he stop and go back to sleep on his own? Yes. Perhaps you need to be a tough person to ferberize and maybe it’s not for everyone. But it’s definitely worked for me (now twice!) and now I can really say, “Mommy knows best.” The proof is in the pudding. Rather, the proof is the fact that mommy and daddy are also now sleeping through the night.

 


 

Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most well-known journalists. She has been a columnist with theNational Post, Canada's national newspaper, for five years, including a stint as a New York-based columnist and feature writer. She is the best-selling author of Knocked UpWiped!Toddlers Gone Wild, How to Raise a Boyfriend and The Lucky Sperm Club. Rebecca lives in Toronto with her fiancé and family. 

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