Rebecca Eckler: Nothing Bothers Me More Than Sleepers with Buttons

It’s so strange to me that I can be so good at so many motherly things, but something so simple (like getting your kid into a sleeper) is so difficult


 

There are many things I am good at being a mother of a newborn. I can get my baby to sleep for 12 hours straight for the night. I can feed him his rice cereal without making TOO much of a mess. I can change any sort of diaper. I can always make him laugh. The one thing I’m definitely NOT good at is getting him into his sleepers. Often, my heart drops when I look into his pajama drawer and see that there are only sleepers with buttons. I’m like, “Where are the sleepers with the zippers!!! I can only do zippers!” This is entirely true.

For six months, I have not done up a sleeper with buttons right once. Even if I start at the top and button my way down to his feet, I always seem to miss a button somewhere, and it’s kind of like finding a screw that you have no idea where it’s from. I’m like, “Ok, there’s a button that doesn’t seem to go anywhere.” Usually, well, always, I just leave him. So, yes, in his crotch area there’s a little bit of a bigger, shall we say, air space, because mommy has somehow managed to not button his sleeper up right? It happens every single time.

I often wonder why people make sleepers with buttons. They are just so difficult, at least for me. If it were up to me, I’d buy him sleepers with zippers only. But, alas, you get hand me downs and presents and most of the sleepers have buttons. There are other things I can’t figure out too, like why people say, “I’m putting him down for a nap.” These sounds to me like you’re putting a dying dog down and that’s very sad. Why don’t people just say, “It’s his nap time!” Another weird saying is, “He’s making strange now.”

Apparently, according to my mother, this is what my son is now doing. What “Making strange” means is that he’s becoming shy around strangers. Why don’t people say, “He’s shy around strangers.” But, really, nothing bothers me more than sleepers with buttons. Not only, like I’ve mentioned, can’t ever seem to find all the buttons and snaps that go together, it is much harder with a baby who kicks so much while changing him, to actually do up the buttons (even if you get them wrong.) It’s so strange to me that I can be so good at so many motherly things, but something so simple (like getting your kid into a sleeper) is so difficult for me. Are you a zipper or button person? And if you are a button person, is there some sort of secret to doing it up that I’m missing?

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Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most well-known journalists. She has been a columnist with the National Post, Canada's national newspaper, for five years, including a stint as a New York-based columnist and feature writer. She is the best-selling author of Knocked UpWiped!Toddlers Gone Wild, How to Raise a Boyfriend and The Lucky Sperm Club. Rebecca lives in Toronto with her fiancé and family. 

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