Why You Shouldn’t Use Your Kids As An Excuse

Kids can sometimes seem like a get-out-of-jail (aka plans) free card, but should you use your kids as your excuse?


If you are a parent who has never used your baby or children as an excuse to get out of something, than you are and exception to the rule. What parent, at one time or another, hasn’t used their children to go home early, or bail last minute, because you truly just don’t want to go out.

One of the greatest things about having babies and children is that they provide the perfect excuse to get out of things, or cancel last minute. Because, really, sometimes you are too damn tired to follow through on plans with friends, or other commitments.

“I’m so sorry,” you may text, “but my baby has a fever. I can’t go out.” Or, “My daughter is throwing up. I’m so sorry I have to cancel. Can we reschedule?”

And, if you already know it’s going to be a late night, a perfect excuse is, “My babysitter needs to leave by 11 p.m. So sorry I have to leave the party early.”

But here’s the thing about using your child or baby as an excuse to get out of something you no longer feel like doing. It’s an awful thing to do. Why?

It’s something called Murphy’s Law!

I’ve stopped using my children as excuses to get out of going out, even if I am in a zombie like state. And you should too. Why? Because if you lie, even if it’s a white lie about your child being sick, no matter what, in my experience, your children will then get sick.

You lie that your daughter is throwing up? Well, guess what? Two days later, your daughter WILL be throwing up. If you lie about your baby having a fever, and you don’t want to leave him at home alone with a sitter, guess what? Your baby WILL have a fever within the week.

I’m not joking. Every single time I’ve used my “sick kids” as an excuse to bail on someone, or some event, they DO end up getting sick. It’s almost as if the Karma Gods are telling you, “You are a bad person for using your own children, your own flesh and blood, to get out of going to a movie premier, or your friend’s birthday party, just because you’re too tired and too lazy to shower.”

The problem is, people don’t really like hearing you’re too “tired” to go out especially when you bail the day of said plans, which were made weeks in advance. But people do understand if you’re baby is sick, or that the sitter needs you to be home by 11 p.m. (Although, if you do use your kids as an excuse for getting out of going out, then you do have to question, when someone else tells you there child is sick, if their child IS really sick, or they, too, are lying and just rather stay home and watch Survivor.)

Now, I never lie about my children being sick, even though what better excuse can you give, because, as I’ve mentioned, every single time I lie about them being sick, they do end up sick, with a fever, with strep, with the stomach flu.

And I think to myself, “This is all my fault for using them as an excuse to bail!”

So, tired, lazy parents, who do use their children as an excuse not to go out, maybe you should do what I do now. I down an espresso, force myself to shower, get dressed, and just follow through with my plans.

It’s too bad, really, because one of the beauties of having babies is that you do have a legitimate excuse to cancel. However, if you don’t want your children to end up being truly, and honestly, sick, don’t lie about it. It will come back to bite you in the ass.

Of course, you can lie about who broke the remote control or the new stain on the couch (because YOU spilled pomegranate juice on it).

That you can blame on your babies.

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