I Don't Fit The Modern Mom Stereotype (And That's Okay)

Except for coffee. I need coffee to live.

Since the dawn of time, moms have been stereotyped. “Gatherers” was probably the first. “I wish I could gather as well as Pearl, she’s such a super gatherer.” 

But what if you didn’t like gathering? Tough, you starved. Thank goodness we don’t still eat like prehistoric man (well, unless you’re on the Paleo diet.)

Now think about a 50s mom. Do you see a frilly apron covering a pretty but simple dress and a hairdo that’s totally on point? Is she holding a freshly baked pie? What if she didn’t like baking, and dresses, and bouffants? Did the other 50s moms ask, “What’s up with Sheila? Her poor family, she hasn’t baked a cookie in days.”

Here we are in the 2010s. We no longer pick berries (except when we pay a ton of money at a farm for the privilege of doing so), most of us are not the picture of a perfect 50s homemaker, but the mom stereotype is still alive and well. Mercifully for us, we now get to acknowledge that our kids drive us crazy, and wine helps.

Even so, sometimes I feel left out during discussions with my mom group (herd of moms? What is the collective term for moms? A Moup?) I don’t fit a lot of the current stereotype.

I hate the spa

There, I said it. I don’t like facials, I don’t like massages, I don’t like manicures, I don’t like pedicures. If you didn’t marry me or come out of me, don’t touch me.

I don’t understand spending hundreds of dollars on designer purses

I don’t own a $300 purse. I don’t own a $300 anything. I don’t even own a purse, period. If it doesn’t fit in my pocket, it stays home. When I do need to bring things, I carry my shit in a Wonder Woman backpack that I stole from my son before she even became popular again.

I don’t drink wine every night

Now, I do enjoy wine. I do drink it sometimes, but certainly not routinely. And when I do, it is whatever is on sale at the wine rack inside the grocery store, and I drink it out of a mug.

I don’t wear makeup or dye my hair

I have a pretty cool Bride of Frankenstein grey streaks thing going on. Mostly, I just don’t care enough to spend the time and money doing my make up. I admire those who do, I think I would probably look better if I did wear makeup and dye my hair, but it just isn’t a top priority.

I don’t own yoga pants or leggings

I did, in 2004, before they became cool. So do I get to be a yoga pants hipster? Maybe I will give them a try again when I get up the courage to let everyone see the outline of my ass in high definition.

I don’t watch reality TV

I’ve never seen The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. I don’t watch anything on HGTV. I don’t recognize half the celebrities who pop up in news. If someone dances, sings, eats weird things, redecorates something, survives on a desert island, or sleeps with random strangers, I probably don’t watch it. If it makes you feel better, I have also never seen The Gilmore Girls.

I’m not into shoes

Not fancy high heels, not trendy sneakers. Not designer nor knock-offs. Be it Prada, Birkenstocks, Reeboks or Walmart, I just don’t care. I buy one pair of shoes at a time, I buy them based on practicality and price. Shoe sales do not excite me. I have about as much interest in shoes as Al Bundy.

There you have it. I don’t fit the 2010s mom stereotype. So what? My guess is a lot of us don’t, and that’s okay. And if you do fit the stereotype, that’s okay too. How about we go down in history as the generation who just did their thing and didn’t give a sh*t if they were momming according to code or not? 

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