How To Introduce Your Child To Your Boyfriend As A Single Mom

Dating as a single parent comes with unique challenges, but self-love and authenticity will help you through it

 

Navigating the world of dating with a child can be difficult as a single mom. It gets even more difficult when you are a young parent surrounded by men that are not ready to take on a committed relationship let alone a family.

It is possible to find someone great though if you have the right mindset about dating. In my experience, you can’t look for it or it will not happen. Focusing on finding a partner may lead you to the wrong place if you are willing to settle and are desperate to be in a relationship. But taking your time for the sake of you and your child, working on being a self-sufficient individual will lead you to someone wonderful.

I spent years trying to find the perfect man with a specific set of traits that I thought were appropriate for a child. I wanted someone who was the right age, with the right job and the correct set of values. What I forgot in my search was to let love happen naturally. As a single mom, I hold myself to a high standard to make up for my daughter only having one parent. But in doing so, I actually prevented myself from falling in love. It turns out that the “perfect” man is the worst decision possible to pursue and didn’t score me the perfect family.

Instead, I started to love myself and low and behold, a beautiful person walked right into my life. He isn’t the correct age and he doesn’t have my dream job (though he does work which is essential), but he has the same values as me and he treats me like I’m the only woman in the world. When you are a single mom, finding someone that makes you feel so special makes all the difference on the days of tantrums and an unrelenting mess of toys.

Once you find someone you adore, it is time to venture into the next step; introducing your new partner to your child. When I introduced my daughter to my new man, I took it slowly. Explaining the situation and being open and honest is the best approach to avoid confusion, and then make a small and easy-going meet and greet for both parties. Some younger people are not well-adjusted to kids either and as a young parent, it is important to see that the two parties mesh well. It is essential that my daughter like my partner. If there was a clash, the relationship would end no questions asked.

I take a hard approach to my boyfriend and daughter getting along because I was the child of a single mother and didn’t like her partner. I felt voiceless as a child because of this personality clash and I would not put my daughter in that position ever. Once I had her approval though, we slowly adjusted to having a new person in our lives. There are still hiccups from time to time, and boundaries that have to be determined such as discipline. These boundaries differ per couple and can only be properly decided upon through open communication and understanding.

Once boundaries are set and everyone adjusts to the new situation, being in a trio is a blast. It is helpful and fun to have a third party around to play games with my daughter, and I feel appreciated. I always talk with my daughter as the relationship progresses to make sure she feels involved. It is key to make personal time for you and your new partner as well so that the new relationship can flourish on its own time, as well as with your family unit.

Most importantly, remember that it is okay to have a new boyfriend or girlfriend if you are a single parent. Finding love and having a relationship is acceptable and staying alone because you think your child needs it isn’t the way to go in my experience. Choose carefully, love yourself and ease your child into the new relationship and soon enough, you will feel like you are at the start of a new family, and a well-deserved one.  

 

Kaeleigh is a saavy single mom and young working journalist in inner-city Toronto, with a five-year old daughter who astounds, amazes and tests her on a daily basis. Writing about parenting issues that range from the woes of single parenting to celebrating the beauty of motherhood, she learns something new everyday and wants to share with other out of the box, alternative and supportive mamas. Kaeleigh's parenting motto: Be prepared, and when you aren't, take a deep breath, do a 30-second solo dance party and put your best foot forward. Everything will be okay.

New On the Baby Post

 

You May Also Like...

 
 
Register For Our Newsletter Contests Video

Latest Comments

Start Here: Introductions

Hi there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to give it a look. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm

gabriellir 1 year 23 hours ago.

Start Here: Introductions

Hi there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to give it a look. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm boo

gabriellir 1 year 23 hours ago.

Start Here: Introductions

Hello there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this website? I'm getting sick and

lavinal62 1 year 1 day ago.

Product Recalls Attention

HarperCollins Publishers recalls Two "That’s Not My…" Children’s Books

HarperCollins has recalled That’s Not My Reindeer and That’s Not My Santa kids’ books due to possible mould contamination

Joe Fresh Recalls Striped Quilted Baby Jackets

Due to a choking hazard, Loblaw Companies has recalled Joe Fresh Baby Jackets

Costco Recalls Kirkland Signature Brand Quinoa Salad

Costco Wholesale Canada has issued a recall of the Kirkland Signature brand Quinoa Salad because of reported illnesses.