When To Start Having Sex After Childbirth

After baby arrives, sex may be the last, or the first, thing on your mind. But how and when should you start having sex?


You have a new and very cute addition to your growing family. You’re embarking on this exciting, yet equally terrifying, new adventure and you probably have a lot of questions. And at least one of them has nothing to do with the baby at all. Oh yeah, I’m talking about sex. You’re back home, you’re slowly getting back into your groove and, most importantly, you’ve been blessed with a beautiful baby. So, would now be a good time to start getting intimate again? If the signs are there, you sure can. Here’s everything you need to know before you and your partner can start having sex again:

Start when you feel comfortable. Bringing a life into the world can take a toll on you — physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s all a part of the journey so don’t be surprised if don’t bounce back right away. That’s why it’s important to start having sex once you feel comfortable with yourself again. Everyone is different, so you and your partner need to figure out what feels right for you guys. Some couples have sex a month after giving birth, while others wait three to six months until they feel like getting frisky again. You and your partner need to accept the fact that your sex life might be on a different course for a while until things settle down. If you notice your partner is a little more eager than you are, talk to them about any insecurities or issues you have. But a good indication to start having sex again is when you’re both physically and emotionally ready for it.

To be safe, wait until after your first postnatal check-up. Your body went through a lot to bring your newborn into this world. You want to make sure you’re fully recovered before you start getting intimate again. Most experts recommend you wait until after your first postnatal check-up which usually happens six weeks after childbirth. This way you’ll know if you’re healing properly. If you can’t wait that long, wait until all the bleeding (lochia) has stopped. Whether you’ve given birth naturally or through c-section, every new mom bleeds out the lining of the uterus, a process that can take three or more weeks. When your uterus is completely healed, the bleeding will stop and only then should you consider having sex again.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some foreplay. Although it’s not highly recommended you have intercourse before your first postnatal check-up, this doesn’t mean you can’t resume other sexual activities — with some caution. When it comes to you getting some lovin’,  your partner has to be much more delicate with you. He can stimulate your clitoris with his fingers but should avoid any "internal action" until you are fully healed. You shouldn’t receive any oral sex during this time either because it increases your chance of getting an infection in that area.

Be affectionate. If getting intimate seems a little daunting, remember to remain affectionate towards your partner. In between changing diapers and soothing your little one, it’s important that you and your partner remind each other how much you care about one other.

When you do start having sex, here’s what you need to know:

Be gentle. You don’t want to unintentionally cause any tearing or injuries, so take it slow. Consider trying positions where you are in control of the depth of penetration, speed and rhythm (think woman on top). If you delivered by c-section, full recovery can take a couple weeks. The area where the incision was made can be tender and sore for some time so consider trying a position that makes you feel comfortable.

Use lube. Don’t be surprised if you experience dryness. This is common for women who have just given birth, but don’t worry things will get back to normal.  Until then, don’t be afraid to use lube.

Do some family planning. Once you start having sex again, you open the door to getting pregnant again. You have a new member in your little family, do you want another one? Are you ready for another one? Make sure you have these conversations with your partner and take the necessary precautions if you feel you’re not ready for another child yet.

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