The 9 Worst Celebrity Baby Names

Would you choose these names? 9 celebrity baby names we just don’t get

We’ve all made mistakes. And when I say “mistakes” I mean, “we’ve done things.” The celebrities below have done things, as well: they have named their children very unconventional names. Now, when I say “worst names,” I do mean “names that frighten me, kind of.” But to you, they may be the best. That’s fine — you’re not wrong.

1. Kyd (David Duchovny)

But to be fair to David and his wife Tea Leoni, that’s what their son is.

2. Bear Blu (Alicia Silverstone)

“Bear” is one thing. It’s the misspelling of “Blue” that’s so upsetting.

3. Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon)

Sossamon’s sister may be in the (amazing/wonderful/terrific) band, Warpaint, but there’s still no need to name anyone after a college class.

4. Buddy Bear (Jamie Oliver)

Buddy Bear Maurice joins sisters Petal Blossom Rainbow, Poppy Honey Rosie, and Daisy Boo Pamela, but at least “Maurice” could still translate well into adulthood. Unless, of course, he also finds himself in the arts. 

5. Bluebell Madonna (Geri Halliwell)

Ginger Spice and the Spice Girls shaped us all — so why not “Emma,” “Melanie,” or “Victoria” over “Madonna”?

6. Kal-El (Nicolas Cage)

Yes, Kal-El’s name is wicked-sounding. But that’s because he has Superman’s birth name. (Russell Crowe’s coming for you, Mr. Cage.)

7. Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)

Because maybe Jason Lee and then-wife wanted to solidify for their son a specific career path.

8. Bronx Mowgli (Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson)

A tribute to The Bronx? Absolutely. (That’s where Rhoda Morgenstern’s from.) Mowgli on its own? Sure. But together? Too much. But also: not enough (explanation). As in: how did this name happen, and what are the odds of it somehow happening again.

9. Harley Quinn (Kevin Smith)

Now say it fast enough that it sounds like one word. I mean book series. I mean…come on, Kevin Smith. How could you?