{"id":8002,"date":"2022-04-08T18:58:55","date_gmt":"2022-04-08T23:58:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/?p=8002"},"modified":"2023-08-14T06:58:21","modified_gmt":"2023-08-14T11:58:21","slug":"ppd-breastfeeding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/ppd-breastfeeding\/","title":{"rendered":"Breast Is Not Best – A Happy New Mom Is"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Leslie Kennedy reacts to the moving statement by Kim Chen, whose wife died after suffering from PPD, and urges us not to put unnecessary pressure on mothers to breastfeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"breastfeeding<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I have been very open about the struggles I had with my colicky daughter, my ability to cope, and my ability to bond. She came out screaming. She came out hating the outside world. She came out and made me question if I was a sociopath because I didn\u2019t love her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s right. I didn\u2019t love my daughter. I was sleep-deprived and miserable, getting zero reprieves from a child that screamed 20 hours a day and slept in 45-minute increments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only thing that stopped her screaming was my breast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was committed to breastfeeding. Like every new mom who has stepped foot in the hospital for prenatal visits, I was bombarded with ‘Breast is Best’ posters everywhere during my pregnancy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I distinctly remember night three at home; up for 20 hours straight trying to nurse a screaming baby, while I wept alligator tears,\u00a0and my mother-in-law suggested I give the baby a bottle to give myself a break. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wouldn\u2019t even consider it. Words like \u2018best\u2019 and \u2018nipple confusion\u2019 ran through my head and I blew off the recommendation like I would the suggestion I let my baby ride in my arms in the front seat; a recommendation from someone who has old school ideas that are unsafe for my baby, and something no mom who cared what was best for her baby would do in 2009.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turns out, she just had my sanity in mind. She saw me struggling. And I did struggle. If you look at pictures of me from those days, I look haggard and miserable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you look at pictures of my daughter, she was emaciated, in spite of me going to breastfeeding clinics and having the public health nurse in to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe that\u2019s why the headline on\u00a0yesterday\u2019s Global News website\u00a0hit me right square in the gut. \u201cHusband of Florence Leung releases emotional statement about PPD, pressure to breastfeed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know if I had big D depression, but Florence Leung did. She was being treated for Post Partum Depression when she took her own life, leaving her husband and 2-month-old baby behind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her husband spoke out this week, seeking support for women and a rethink of the way we shove \u2018breast is best\u2019 down pregnant women\u2019s throats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFor all the new moms experiencing low mood or anxiety, please seek help and talk about your feelings. You are not alone. You are not a bad mother.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do not EVER feel bad or guilty about not being able to \u201cexclusively breastfeed\u201d, even though you may feel the pressure to do so based on posters in maternity wards, brochures in prenatal classes, and teachings at breastfeeding classes,\u201d\u00a0he pleaded on Facebook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cApparently, the hospitals are designated \u201cbaby-friendly\u201d only if they promote exclusive breastfeeding. I still remember reading a handout upon Flo\u2019s discharge from the hospital with the line \u201cBreast Milk Should Be the Exclusive Food For the Baby for the First Six Months.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also remember posters on the maternity unit \u201cBreast is Best\u201d. While agreeing to the benefits of breast milk<\/a>, there NEED [sic] to be an understanding that it is OK to supplement with formula, and that formula is a completely viable option.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He sounds like my mother in law. Only he has the sad proof that we need to encourage women to do what they need to do to get through the early days with their sanity, and life, intact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not going to argue the merits of the science or the importance of breastfeeding. That\u2019s not what this is about. It\u2019s about understanding that the pressure that \u2018breast is best\u2019 puts on women is what makes many of us feel like we are less than, or failures if we can\u2019t or just don\u2019t want to breastfeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breastfeeding made me stressed. It made me feel used and abused and as a human pacifier. I tried cutting out foods, cutting out dairy, and doing whatever I could to make the crying stop. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But nothing worked. I continued to be a failure as a new mom. I didn\u2019t want to quit (though my parents and in-laws encouraged me to) and I didn\u2019t want to fail at doing what was \u2018best\u2019 for my baby\u00a0because I was told over and over again that that breast was best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breastfeeding kept me from bonding with my baby. It kept me literally attached to a screaming human who hated me and the breast that soothed her; resenting her, resenting my breasts and their ability and inability to make her happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is breast best if mom is depressed? Is it best if baby is hungry? Is it best if mom can\u2019t bond with her baby? Is it still best even then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That Ms. Leung\u2019s husband took to social media to talk about this very topic screams to me, and should to everyone, that pressuring new moms can have dire effects. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clearly, this was something with which she struggled. As\u00a0Scarlett Ballantyne so eloquently said when news of Leung\u2019s suicide broke late last year, her death should be a wake-up call to us all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Had I not been told \u2018breast is best,\u2019 had I listened to my mother in law telling me on day three that a bottle of formula is okay, had I allowed myself to do what was best FOR ME, perhaps I would have bonded sooner, had a less miserable introduction to motherhood, and would have been a better mother\u2014which actually would have been best for my baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Had Ms. Leung not felt pressured similarly, perhaps she\u2019d still be here today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the great words of Dr. Spock, \u201cWhat good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Leslie Kennedy reacts to the moving statement by Kim Chen, whose wife died after suffering from PPD, and urges us not to put unnecessary pressure on mothers to breastfeed. I have been very open about the struggles I had with my colicky daughter, my ability to cope, and my ability to bond. She came out … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":8005,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/breastfeeding-and-ppd-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/breastfeeding-and-ppd-600x600.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Carly Link","author_link":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/author\/carlybabypost-com\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8002"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8002"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8002\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12683,"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8002\/revisions\/12683"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/babypost.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}